Puzzles & Rest

I've spent the better part of the past week playing Blue Prince. And since I can't just sit back, relax, and enjoy something, I turned it into a moment of introspection. One thing you should know about me is that I love puzzle games. I like when choices mean things and information is guarded like a secret. Make me work to play the game, strategize, remember. That being said, my threshold for frustration is very low. This combination makes me an objectively bad puzzler.

But it does make me an exceptional student.

I will excel when I have to figure things out in order to move forward. When the truth is a locked door, I am going to find the key, jam it into its hole, and wrench that door open so hard it flies off its hinges. This mix of needing to know and feeling physically ill when I don't know is foundational to my tenacity.

And my point is this— being the way that I am around problems and puzzles made it incredibly difficult to put aside my manuscript for a week. Because what is a first draft if not an incredibly muddled puzzle that needs solving? The pieces are all there, and I know that there's a coherent, entertaining, well-written story hidden in the tangle of words and phrases. Every fiber of my being wanted to barrel forward and put it together to get it closer to what I knew it could be. I was crawling out of my skin, itching to move forward and figure out what this thing is going to turn into.

Now that I'm at the end of that self-imposed rest, I'm grateful I did it. I have some clarity around things. The puzzle that is my first manuscript is still fuzzy, but I know what direction I need to take it. The distance helped me see things clearly, like one of those Magic Eye pictures. What my novel is meant to be started taking shape while I wasn't working on it. And now, I get to do the fun part of making it the best it can be. Take what's on the box and make it match. I'm so excited for it.

Until next time.